People would ask me to hang out and go do things and I’d say, “No, I’m working!”

They’d respond, “You’re the hardest working person I know!”

And I remember saying countless times, “Yeah, I’m working hard now so I don’t have to later!”

Back then though, I truly believed that if I just kept working hard something would give and I’d find my way out of the daily struggle and into the world I saw on TV and in the media. I would have the life of the people who I saw “made it.”

What I learned though was that working hard alone does not guarantee success...you can work yourself hard into the same never-ending circle.

I learned that beyond working hard, I needed clarity about where I was going, an environment that supported my goals and dreams, and the inner confidence to speak my truth and act on it when it really mattered.

And by the answer, I mean that “thing” I thought successful people knew that I didn’t. That special something that once you know it, your efforts will start paying off.

Back then, I didn't know that’s what it was. I actually thought I might be being irresponsible making the choices I was making, but there was something inside of me that was like, “No, this is what I want right now and that’s what I am going to do.”

My journey from living in section 8 housing, stepping over cockroaches (sorry for the visual, but it’s true) gripping my mace, walking to the bus stop to head to my 16 hour day ahead of me to now living the life of my dreams all started with me acknowledging the things “I’ve always wanted to do” and then going after that with my whole being.

When I was 19, going to college may have seemed like the “responsible” thing to do, however, what I wanted to do was travel the world. I had met someone who had traveled to over 50 countries and when I heard the stories of his travels I was like, “I want to do that”.

At the time I was working for $8.25 an hour.

So, working for $8.25 an hour, I worked my three jobs and planned and saved and planned and saved and planned and saved and planned and saved, and 14 months later, my friend Heather and I were boarding a plane for a seven month trip circling the globe.

Before I went on my seven month trip around the world I had the opportunity to take a six week trip to Asia. At the time I got the opportunity I had just landed a job making what was a big jump in pay from what I was used to. The trip felt like a once in a lifetime opportunity. I really wanted to keep this job, but I couldn’t imagine saying no to this trip.

I went to my boss, explained about the trip and gave my notice. I could not have imagined what happened next. Without blinking she said no problem, we don’t want to lose you. You can take a six week leave and come back after your trip. I was FLOORED. I got to go on this amazing trip and keep my job.

Trying to figure out how to hold onto things to pursue your dreams just doesn’t make sense. Once you step into what you’ve always wanted, things that appealed to the “old you” just won’t be relevant anymore. And like I said, if they are, they’ll most likely be there waiting for you.

So, over the next decade I repeated this.

I decided on something I wanted, did some research and planning, set a date and started working toward it, did that incredible thing I always wanted to do, then started the process all over again.

That may sound really simple and it is, except there’s just one more step that makes all the difference in the world.

“Is this a sign I shouldn’t...leave my job, start that business, move, travel or take that opportunity?”

I remember when I was living in Las Vegas. I had a roommate who loved Depeche Mode (yes the band from the 80’s) and also wanted to go to Europe. Turns out Depeche Mode was going to have an incredible tour and one of the stops was Germany. My roommate was SO EXCITED. He bought tickets when they were released, got the time off from work months in advance, started saving and bought his flight. He talked about it with excitement for months right up until a couple of weeks before the concert. 

Just weeks before the concert...all of a sudden he had some “responsibility” that came up and he started giving all these reasons why it wasn't practical and just like that canceled the trip. The whole thing, the flight, tickets just GONE! 

You think about something you really want, and think about how amazing it would be, everything it would take. You then have imaginary conversations in your head about making it happen and all of a sudden, you’re like, “Yeah but….insert “practical” reason that only reinforces the life you already have, not the one you want.”

Every single dream I have accomplished, RIGHT BEFORE it was about to be accomplished I thought it was the worst idea ever and maybe I shouldn't do it.

Yes, every single one.

After saving for 14 months to travel around the world and in the weeks leading up to the departure dates, I started looking at all the wonderful things I had in my life; my friends, my job, and started to wonder...was it crazy to leave it all behind?

When I got the news that after four interviews, two tests and a presentation, I had in fact landed the job at Tony Robbins as a speaker (!!!!!!) I kept pushing my start date back and questioned if that's what I really wanted.

Five years later, when I had come to a fork in the road and had to decide whether or not to leave my dream job at Tony Robbins for what I felt was my life's purpose, I sat down and wrote my resignation letter. I was in front of my laptop crying hysterically to the point where I thought I was going to hyperventilate. It took me 45 minutes to hit the send button on that email.

Every single time when I was inches away, my brain gave me all the reasons why this was “the worst idea ever.”

The thing was, my brain didn’t have access to the memories I was about to create.

It didn't know what it was like to be in Borneo, looking out a bus window at the jungle and think, “This is the bluest sky I have ever seen...I didn't know the sky could be that blue…”

It didn‘t know that although it seemed impractical to travel every four months to a new city for this job with Tony Robbins, that my first day of training sitting in that conference room, I would experience a feeling wash over me and would finally understand what it meant when people said, “Do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life.”

I didn't know. And that is why when you are pursuing what you have always wanted you need to remember the three things I shared with you above and that when you get within inches, you cross that finish line. 

You don’t turn your back on your dreams.

Tools beyond telling women to “believe in themselves” and “know your why.”

Let me tell you something. When I used to hear that or read that while watching people who had a life so fabulous they might have well been aliens, those pieces of advice didn’t mean anything to me.

All they represented was how far away from my goal I was because I thought, I did believe in myself and if I knew my “why” then I wouldn't have needed their help!

Not to mention, you can believe in yourself and know your why and still not have what you want!

Because at the end of the day you need real life skills to get to where you want to go.

And that’s what we teach at mina meetings.

To see the look of pure astonishment and disbelief while they are sharing a huge milestone they’ve accomplished. Something they’ve wanted their whole life!

Or the look of peace on their face when they share a resolution they have created around something in their life that has been so painful for so long.

But not anymore.

Not. Anymore.

And that’s the last thing I want to share with you while we’re here together.

Not anymore.

Whatever your life has been up until now it doesn’t have to look that way moving forward.

And you don’t have to have “come from nothing” to transform your life.

Middle class can be just as dangerous because there’s a level of “comfort” there that guilts us into believing “you should be happy.”

You are so much more than what you saw and learned the first 20-ish years of your life.

That is PART of your story. You don’t have to let it be the whole thing.

I was not dealt good cards. In fact, I was dealt horrifying cards. Emotionally, physically, and sexually abused for most of my childhood. I lived with foster parents, adopted parents, real parents, and was then on my own at 15.

Abusive relationships, an eating disorder and no education to lead the way.

Here’s what happened though. I made a decision early on that set the stage for me to allow myself to “Have what I have always wanted.” I decided that I never wanted to be someone that, “because those things happened to me I couldn’t….fill.in.the.blank.”

Those things that happened to me were not going to rule my life.

They got my first 20 years. They were not going to get the rest.

Every stage of my life there was a new emotional layer to deal with.

Letting myself have what I wanted FIRST allowed me to work through the trauma.

Going after my dreams was my training ground for strength and resilience.

So don’t wait.

If you have a desire in you now it’s trying to lead you somewhere.

Set a goal, set a date. Plan, research, save, and most of all BE WILLING TO START SMALL.

Tell the world or don’t tell anyone till they see you doing it, but give yourself the gift of discovering who you are beyond what you have known.

Let your dreams reveal to you what life has in store.

They are waiting and dying to show you how awesome you really are.

-Mina